Can I No Longer Sleep in with a Baby?

But now you have an infant who doesn’t sleep and keeps you and your husband awake all night. You’re so tired that panties in the refrigerator and a pack of frozen peas under the pillow are no surprise because things like that happen all the time. You feel like you’re on the verge of going crazy and so exhausted that you can’t even pull through another day, but somehow, you’re still functioning.

It’s no consolation, but a lot of parents of newborns feel the same way. What makes it even more complicated is the fact that just when you need the most sleep to rest – because giving birth is an ineffably difficult and exhausting activity – any kind of chance to sleep is taken away from you. Now wonder that postpartum depression exists and is a serious issue. No-one can be cheerful and happy when they’re tired to death.

HOW SLEEPLESSNESS IS AFFECTING YOU

Being constantly tired makes you cranky. Then it’s very easy to snap at your loved one, become irritated, and get into a fight over every little detail. Little fights can, however, turn into big ones, especially when one of the reasons, which is being tired, isn’t being dealt with and keeps amplifying all other problems. Of course, your health is also suffering. And you won’t believe the types of stupid and even dangerous things you’re capable of doing when you’re exhausted only until you’ve left the stove on for the night, locked yourself out of the house, or added mayonnaise instead of milk to your coffee for the tenth time. Overtired moms have fallen asleep with their infants in their beds and then accidentally suffocated their child by rolling onto them. So, being tired is no joke.

CAN YOU MAKE UP FOR SLEEP DEBT?

On average, an adult needs eight hours of sleep during night to properly function the next day. When you only get six hours of sleep every night, you’re creating a 14-hour sleep dept by the end of the week. But when you get to sleep peacefully a couple of hours during the day with your child, you won’t have any sleep debt. When you stay up for a couple of hours one night, you should sleep ten hours the next night to keep your sleep balance.

Here are a few tips on how to get some essential hours of additional sleep:

MAKE YOURSELF AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE

Being relaxed is imperative for falling asleep. The best position is sleeping on your side because it helps to avoid snoring and sleep apnea. Hug a pillow if you want and make sure that your neck and shoulders are supported enough by the pillow you’re sleeping on.

SLEEP DURING THE DAY!

This is the most important advice for new parents. An infant wakes up after every couple of hours during both day and night, so getting your normal sleep is no option. That’s why you should use every chance you get for sleeping. It doesn’t matter if the house is a mess or your husband wants to eat – a women who has just given birth needs to get to sleep as much as possible. Even half an hour naps help. You can do chores when your baby is awake by carrying them using a baby wrap.

THE BEDROOM MUST BE PEACEFUL

Just throw all screens and other things that remind you of work, like piles of clothes waiting to be ironed, out of the bedroom. For you to fall asleep peacefully, you need to be able to switch yourself off completely.

TURN OFF YOUR THOUGHTS

Focus on your breathing, listen to and monitor it, but don’t try to change the rhythm. This is a good relaxation trick that helps to get your breathing gradually deeper and calmer. Put off all thoughts that come to your mind until you’ve rested.

EAT PROPERLY AND EXERCISE

A body that receives quality food regularly and is in good shape can endure sleeplessness for a certain period. Walks with the stroller are very welcome because in addition to a light exercise, you get to stay outside in the fresh air. When hungry, avoid giving in to temptation and stay away from pastry and sweets for fast energy; rather choose bites that are healthier and more beneficial. Not only do these a favor to you figure, but also to your quality of sleep.

FORGET ABOUT CAFFEINE HOURS BEFORE BEDTIME

Caffeine doesn’t affect some people at all, but most toss and turn in bed sleeplessly if they’ve drunk coffee or strong tea before going to bed. It would be best if you could give up caffeine in general. It might energize you, but just for a moment and only seemingly. Afterwards, you feel even more tired than before. If you can’t quit completely, drink your last cup of coffee or tea at least three to four hours before sleep; and before daily naps as well!

ASK FOR HELP FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND, MOM, SISTER, ANYONE

Make a deal with your girlfriend – you’re watching the kids one day and she gets to sleep, then she watches the kids the other day. Send your mom for a walk with the stroller so you can get your sleep. If necessary, hire a nanny who can be with your baby while you’re sleeping. Never turn away help when offered.

RAISE YOUR OXYTOCIN LEVELS

This love hormone helps you feel happy and calm. You can stimulate your body’s oxytocin production by hugging your partner, kissing, having a massage, having sex, meditating, taking a hot bath, and in dim light. Lights off in the bedroom!

GO TO BED EARLY

You might feel old when you go to bed at 9 p.m., but what does it matter? You need to sleep as much as possible. Your girlfriends know you have a little baby at home, so surely, they won’t ask you out on a Friday night. You can go to bed as early as you wish and is possible with your baby and sleep with them.

STAY WARM

It’s very uncomfortable to fall asleep when it’s too warm or even worse, when it’s too cold. If necessary, put on socks, pull on another blanket, and enjoy your warm bed. You’ll see, you’ll fall asleep soon.

TRY TO WORRY LESS

The more you’re worried about not getting enough sleep, the less you actually get to sleep – you’re too nervous and can’t relax. Accept that that’s how it is for now. This time passes quickly, your child grows fast, and soon, you’ll all get to sleep better again.

The article was published on the Pere ja Laps portal of Delfi.

Photo Aditya Romansa,  Unsplash